I used this prayer in our yoga practice this morning - sharing here for your reference and personal use. It is a prayer I only became aware of this week, and found the practice freeing and well-timed and thought you might too. 

We are feeling lots of things right now, aren't we? And how are we to handle these feelings of worry, frustration and disappointment? I invite you to consider the practice of the Welcoming Prayer. 

It's a simple but powerful prayer, inviting us to let go and surrender into God's dwelling within us. 

First you are invited to notice what you are feeling and become aware of what you are experiencing in your body. Get in touch with the sensation, whether it is physical or emotional. You don't need to analyze or change anything, simply notice and allow yourself to feel it - sink into it. 

Second, welcome the sensation or emotion, which may feel counterintuitive. "Welcome frustration," "welcome disappointment," "welcome fear." You are not inviting it to stay but acknowledging that it already here, and in that acknowledging, you are disarming it from its power to control. Stay present and allow your breath to align yourself with the indwelling, ever-present Spirit.

And lastly, when you are ready, begin to release and let go. "I let go of my disappointment," "I let go of my fear." 

I love the practice because it's not contingent on us "doing" but rather invites us to the place of being: noticing, accepting and releasing.

...and I guess that's how I went from a closet Christian radio listener, to a Christian women's conference attendee...to a follower of Jesus Christ.

Because of some challenges in my personal life at that time (which have a way of humbling you) and the influence of some authentic Christian co-workers, I had begun listening to Christian radio, which is why I found myself stopped along the roadside that morning. The messages and music I heard were counter-cultural but soul-inviting. So I listened...in private; changing the radio station each time I left my car to cover the evidence, resting the dial on something sensible and "normal" - probably country music. I wasn't ready to out myself just yet listening to this "Christian" stuff.

I reached out to a girlfriend who had been raised in the church, but hadn't really understood what it meant to have a "personal relationship with Jesus." Well sister...I just prayed along a roadside - neither do I, but we thought we might be intrigued enough to find out. We somehow found ourselves signed up for a local Christian women's conference together. We entered in with a heavy dose of skeptical anticipation. While they had name tags waiting for us -- we knew we didn't belong. After the evening kick-off session, we hopped on the elevator with women who had RAISED THEIR HANDS during the music portion (which they called worship). Imagine the madness. We were not the hand-raising types. Nonetheless, the music and messages had flat out captivated us. We couldn't get away from the conference fast enough to discuss how weird everyone was, yet privately admit that we were taken by this Jesus, whom they so clearly loved.

In full and humorous disclosure, we did this in a bar...over beer...and given how early we were in our faith journeys, we probably shared a good dose of bad theology and quite possibly too many beers. But you know...in that moment...I really don't think Jesus cared. I think he slid into that booth beside us, thrilled his daughters were opening their hearts to Him and met us us right where we were.

~~~~~~~~

I used to chase beauty as though it was a prize to be won as I drowned in the sea of comparison. I would measure myself against the pretty, the skinny, the talented, the popular, and the funny. The waves of comparison seemed to hit one after the other, not quite letting me catch my footing as I tumbled out at sea. Sand and saltwater filling my battle wounds.

I wonder if you’ve ever felt the same way? Caught in the crashing waves of comparison, wishing you could somehow look more like someone else. Your confidence slowly ebbing away as you scroll through your social media and feel as though you don’t measure up.

But what if I told you, you do? You not only measure up, you are a delight in the Lord’s eye. Not the version of yourself you wish you were but who you actually are today. God created you to be uniquely you – not a replica of someone else.

The Lord says that beauty can be fleeting. Even if you somehow achieve the world’s standard of beauty, it won’t last. It will be temporary. It will fade away.

But the Lord lets us in on a little secret. He asks us to come in close as he gently whispers in our ear. There is another way of living. A way that lasts.

Walk in the knowledge of who God created you to be, with reverence and admiration for who God is. Exhale; you’re off the hook. You don’t have to create your identity – that was God’s job. You get to discover who He created you to be, as you draw close to him.

Beyond the waves of comparison, you’ll find a unique and beautiful you.

​Perhaps it is time we come in from the water and enjoy the view from the shore.

**This devotional was originally authored for a collaborative project and published in a Loving your Mirror Image journal (an 8-session class designed for teens), and more recently in the October Missionary Yogi newsletter.

Do you ever have one of those friends who after some time has passed, you don't even remember how you met? Me too. While I may not exactly remember how I met her...I thought you should know her too. Meet Christina Barnes! The very fact that she goes by Missionary Yogi speaks to my heart! Faith, Yoga and Missions, oh my!

Sporting that "Barnes" name, yes she is the daughter-in-law of Seth Barnes, which increased the likelihood of our paths crossing. For those who may not know, Seth is the Founder of Adventures in Missions, the sending organization for The World Race, which I embarked on 10 years ago. (where does the time go?!?) The World Race is an 11-month, 11-country missional discipleship journey that played a key role in my own spiritual growth.  They now have different length programs for different age groups and my heart has delighted the past few years as recent high school grads from my church have embarked on their own gap year journeys!

Back to Christina...I asked her to write up an invitation to something called the Wholeness Journey coming up later this fall to Costa Rica. Wholeness Journeys have resonated in my spirit since the first time I heard about them and got to hear Christina's heart behind how they came together. In her picture above, I imagine her sitting across from you and telling you all about it, filled with passion and purpose. My application is submitted - will you join me?

Guest post from Christina: 
Wholeness Journeys are all about creating a space to connect more fully with God, yourself, and others. I believe it's in this connection that we find more wholeness in Christ!

Since 2017, we've hosted three Wholeness Journeys and each one has been more increasingly more powerful and transformative than the last. It's so amazing how God is able to take whatever we offer Him of ourselves, our time, and our talents -- and make SO much more of it! It's really a thrill to get to partner with God, doing His work in the arenas of yoga and missions.

​I'm excited to share with you about our upcoming Wholeness Journey: to Costa Rica! August 30 - September 7

Costa Rica is known for its stunning beaches and beautiful rainforests. But outside of the tourist destinations are large pockets of poverty, family brokenness, and abuse.

On Wholeness Journey Costa Rica, we will partner with Casa Transforma, a ministry that serves vulnerable women living in extreme poverty, women who have suffered physical and emotional abuse, women coming out of prostitution, teenage and single mothers and their children, vulnerable elderly women, and undocumented migrant women fleeing political upheaval in neighboring countries. Casa Transforma offers a Christ-centered environment for healing, empowerment, and transformation. They've even been awarded accolades from the United Nations for their work in social entrepreneurship and community innovation. I've learned so much just from talking to their founder! It's going to be an awesome trip.
​
In fact, God gave their founder, Vanessa, the words “holistic health” for 2019. Vanessa was noticing that the graduates of her programs were professionally equipped to do their jobs and run their new micro-businesses, but many were only working 3 weeks of each month...because they were running themselves ragged and getting sick! Casa Transforma wants to integrate education on wholeness and wellness: how to care for ourselves in mind, body, and spirit. Enter our Wholeness Journey Team!  

We are going to have the unique opportunity to pour into both the women and staff of this catalytic organization -- making a lasting impact in the lives of women in need.
Our team will:

• Host mini-retreats for the local women creating a space for God to bring hope, restoration, and redemption
• Be equipped to share about topics such as worth, identity, healing, and forgiveness through storytelling and vulnerability
• Learn to share your unique story, giftings, and personal wholeness journey with others
• Delve into how to cultivate Christ-centered wholeness, wellness, and beauty
• Build meaningful relationships with your team and the women we minister to
• Gain a deeper understanding of who God is and who you are as His daughter
• Enjoy rejuvenating yoga classes and fresh, local meals
• Adventure in the natural beauty of Costa Rica

You can start an application at WholenessJourney.org. Our application deadline is June 30, 2019.
If you have any questions, you can email me directly at [email protected] or connect with me on instagram at @MissionaryYogi

Some people my not know that I had the joy of co-founding a faith-based, agricultural non-profit 8 years ago, Field of Hope. The organization's birthday celebration gave me the opportunity to reflect on the past 8 years.

In 2009, I embarked on a journey that I easily thought would be the greatest adventure of my life, an 11-country, 11-month mission trip experience: The World Race. Traveling around the world within a calendar year not only stamped my passport, but forever etched my heart. Sure, I found adventure, but more than that...I found purpose.

Perhaps the question I get asked most often about my experience is how I chose Uganda as the country I'd return to and engage in long-term ministry. I can't help but to hesitate...to smile...and earnestly respond...

Uganda chose me.

Only God could pluck an Illinois farm girl and plant her heart and feet into the Ugandan soil. How could I not return?

Now looking back over the past 8 years, I can appreciate how sincere but naive we were when co-founders, Mike and Cathy Hafner committed, in the faith of Ruth 1:16, to "go wherever I would go" and Field of Hope was born.

What has surprised me the most? I thought it would be easy. Find a problem. Insert a solution. But it wasn't easy...the good things rarely are. Instead it was messy. It required more commitment, more grit, more resilience than I knew I had. There were cultural misunderstandings, disappointments and learnings. But you know what I also realized...God wasn't just up to something in Uganda...he was up to something in me. I think it is easy in the West to think we have it all figured out...through our efficiencies…technology and solutions...but Uganda has given me far more than I'll ever give. God knew what he was doing when he brought us together. He knew I needed Uganda.

Still today, I need Uganda to remind me of the beauty that comes from the broken, the value of faith over comfort and relationships over resources…at the same time reorienting my relationship with resources.

As I think about the success of Field of Hope over the past 8 years and our stewardship of the resources that have been provided, I accredit it to the culture and commitment to integrity and humility that is ingrained in the organization and our leadership. We didn't know where we were going when we took that first step. And sure, we made a few missteps along the way as we dove into this agricultural development space. But if you remain humble...teachable...committed to doing the right thing...the Lord will show you who you were created to be.

I believe that's true of a non-profit organization, but it is also true of you...of me...of each of us.

We don't have to create our identities or the purposes that we were put on this earth for...instead we get the joy of discovering them as we walk with God. I believe the Lord destined Field of Hope to do good works, prepared in advance for us to do...and then He set us on the adventure of humbly discovering what those works were...and transforming each of us through the process.

The journey is not over. In many ways, it has just begun. The Lord has led us to new ventures and more partnerships than we could have ever predicted when we took those first steps 8 years ago…but I pray we will always have that Ruth 1:16 faith to “go wherever He would have us go.”

We are an organization...made up of people...pursuing His purposes in the world...which God prepared in advance for us to do...

Will you join us?

*originally posted on the Field of Hope blog

Let's start at the beginning...what is yoga anyway?

The word yoga means unity or to yoke together. The practice of yoga "yokes" or brings together our body and mind. Yoga is built on three main components: physical postures,  breathing and meditation. Wait right there. Did I just say meditation?
 
Exhale.

I did.

I get it. Meditation can carry some baggage, especially with the emphasis some eastern religions put on mediation, but it's important to remember in this dialogue - and every dialogue for that matter - context is important. When I'm using the word mediate, I'm using it as a transitive verb, borrowing from Merriam-Webster's definition: "to focus one's thoughts on : reflect on or ponder over."

{quick grammar lesson: a transitive verb is an action verb that has a direct object}
   // We meditate (transitive verb) on God's word (direct object).

​This is actually an important distinction as we think about yoga. In a Christ-centered practice, we don't meditate for the sake of meditating or to empty our minds, but rather we focus our thoughts, reflect on or ponder over...God's word. 

There are actually several references to meditate in the Bible. I'll share a few:

Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Joshua 1:8

I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. Pslam 119:15

My eyes stay open through the watches of the night, that I may meditate on your promises. Psalm 119:148

In a Christ-centered yoga practice, our meditation is inspired by God's word.

So now that we have the basic components of yoga (body postures, breath and meditation) - I'd like to share why yoga has been such a meaningful and powerful practice in my own life and why I'm passionate about bringing that experience to others.

Christianity can be very "heady." What do I mean? Many religious people know the right answers, but those answers don't necessarily impact their lives. Perhaps they were raised with a heavier emphasis on religion or tradition than on relationship.  They understand religion in their head but it hasn't necessarily made that 18 inch descent down into their heart. There's this disconnection between their faith and their life, their belief and their actions. But what if the practice of yoga can actually start to bridge that gap? To yoke together head and heart, body and soul, faith and actions.

In many of my classes I tend to say..."what we work out on our mats, we can carry with us into our lives." There's something powerful about connecting our movement with our breath, with our mind. As an instructor, I might be teaching a class about the need to surrender (maybe surrendering the need to control) and while my words might challenge people, if I link those words with a physical posture of surrender - suddenly that becomes a more holistic experience. We're not just talking about the need to surrender, we are physically surrendering. And maybe...just maybe that head knowledge can start to trickle down and begin to close that 18 inch gap.

And this is true of the instructor, as much as it is the participants. Often where the Lord leads me to teach...is where He knows I have something to learn. We're all on the journey together.

Join me next time as I dive into teaching and participating in secular (non religious) yoga classes.

I was in the middle of a discerning season - spending time studying in the Word and listening in prayer once again on the topic of yoga and faith - when that sweet woman of God slid in beside me at church. Through the dimly lit room, she whispered the very question that was at the root of my exploration...

Can Christians do yoga? Should Christians do yoga?

I hesitated as my eyes begin to slowly gaze around the room. Irrational skepticism filled the pause, "had someone put her put her up to this?" I wondered.  She had no way of knowing that I was in the middle of wrestling this topic to the ground. And when my gaze finally settled  back on her face...I could see her expression carried nothing but innocent inquiry. She simply wanted to know my perspective. 

It's a study I've done before...before deciding to pursue my instructor certification, but fresh dust had been kicked up...which warranted a fresh examination a little further along in the journey - now serving as an active instructor with nearly 2 years of experience under my belt. 

If you know me, you know that I take following Christ very seriously and believe what the Bible says is wholly useful and true. That doesn't mean that I live it out perfectly, but dang it, I try (and I never tire of grace). So if I'm ever questioned about whether something I'm doing or saying doesn't line up with the Word of God or character of Christ - I pray I will always remain humble and allow God to come in and do His refining work.

So yes...when the dust flies...I think it is important to engage in the discussion. To address the question here, I'll share a short series of blog posts. In no way will I touch on every aspect and I might not do it with the eloquence of a theologian, but I will do it with sincerity, genuinely seeking Truth. I hope it will bring some understanding, common language and mutual respect. Like everything, I think it is  important to critically engage with our faith and culture and realize that even when we do, we might interpret things a little differently and be convicted by the Holy Spirit uniquely - all the while serving the one true God. 

First things first - let's realize that we have people on both ends of the spectrum and everything in between. On one end there are those people, including Christians, who don't realize there is a controversy, wondering "isn't yoga just exercise?" And on the other end are those who believe yoga is in direct contradiction to the Christian faith due to the spiritual influences and ties to Hinduism. 

Where do I land on that spectrum? Tune in next time to find out.

Just kidding - I'm somewhere in the middle and I look forward to the dialogue.

Do you have specific questions? Please join the conversation - email me and I'll try to address the big questions I receive throughout this series. 

She kneeled down in front of me, where I was seated on the floor of our cabin. We were at 7000 feet in northern Arizona, but she got low. Eye to eye. She whispered, gently..."I see you"...our breath filling the silent space between the pause until once more she spoke..."I see you." My eyes welled with an unplanned physical response as I considered the suddenly present emotional one.

We were attending a Holy Yoga retreat where I was finishing my 225-hour training to become a Registered Holy Yoga Instructor (R-HYI).  Also, an unplanned, yet extraordinary journey.

As a veteran Holy Yoga instructor, she was serving as a mentor for a small group of us Midwest girls who were going through the certification process together. She was the instrument the Lord used to deliver a message that I needed to hear.  

She handed me a card with a scripture the Lord had laid on her heart...

I've wrestled a fear as long as I can remember, a fear that I don't believe I carry alone...it's a fear that perhaps all of us have faced at one time or another...

It's a fear that says...
          I'm not good enough.
                    I'm not capable.
                              I don't measure up. 

And yet God continues to get low, to look me...you...in the eye and remind us of the depths of His grace...

You don't have to be.

You don't have to be awesome.

          Because you serve the One who is. 

The One who is capable, who is good, who is all-knowing and powerful. The One who is more than enough.

                    You serve the One who is able. 

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size - abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become. 2 Corinthians 12:9b-10 (MSG)

You see, it's not about us...it never was. It's about Him. His grace working mightily through us. So relax, exhale. You don't have to be awesome...because you serve the One who is.

I look up to the mountains; does my strength come from the mountains? No my strength comes from God, who made heaven, and earth, and mountains. Psalm 121:1-2 (MSG)

I'm officially teaching a few Holy Yoga classes in the Des Moines area - I'd love to have you join me for a class! More details on my Holy Yoga page. Remember, you don't have to be experienced or awesome...just show up and be present!

Last night, I sat across a cup of coffee from a friend and dear sister in Christ.  In the age of Facebook, it’s no secret, today is my birthday, and since I’m tickling 40 and sleep has become an increased priority, that evening coffee was a decaf.  But let’s not get in too big of a hurry; I’ll be hanging onto my 30’s for another couple years.

We chatted about the various struggles and trials that we have faced, and those whom we love are currently facing.  We’re in a small group together, which is church-speak for a group of people who have committed to intentionally “do life” together.  Our goal is to gather weekly to share stories, meals, study the Bible and pray for one another, although I admit that sometimes weekly becomes monthly in the busyness of life.

It is ironic that when I first came to faith, I was a self-declared “small group dropout.”  I was restless gathering together with a group of people to talk about the Bible when I would have preferred to simply be out doing what the Bible said.  I often love God’s sense of humor, for that small group dropout is now the Director of Support and Small Groups at her local church.  I’ve noticed a pattern in my life – being thrown into the fire is often how God refines a stubborn girl.

I’m not saying small groups are the end-all-be-all to your faith, but I think they do teach you something about the community God designed for us to live in; being committed to one another, to share in each other’s joys and carry one another’s burdens.  A place that doesn’t hold judgment, regardless of your struggle or sin, but a place that simultaneously holds and challenges you to live to a higher standard.  A place filled with grace and love.  But that doesn’t necessarily happen seamlessly or even naturally – it takes intention.  We have to be intentional about opening ourselves to live authentically with one another, taking down the facades that we may have constructed, and giving people the authority to speak honestly into our lives.  The beauty on the other side of that invitation, are companions for the journey – a tribe of belonging.

We are currently in a season of walking alongside some of our tribe as they journey through a season of dealing with the realities of childhood cancer with their son.  I woke up this morning to receive a text from his sweet mama, sharing a video of him singing Happy Birthday, scars fresh from the last surgery, hope still strong. Oh. My. Heart.  But if their hope ever falters...may they find strength in ours, for we were not meant to walk this life alone.