After the lab confirmed what I thought I knew in my spirit, I ran upstairs and told my husband. Ok, it's getting real. "So...what are you going to do?" he asked. And wasn't that the question? I hadn't really had time to process it yet.
I remember a moment, amidst ordinary chores (putting clothes away), when I fell to my knees in my bedroom closet, to inquire of the Lord. While that may seem like a strange interruption -- as the question lingered, it seemingly got heavier with every step, no matter how many loads of laundry I sorted. I needed to stop carrying the burden, the worry, the fear, and my own resistance -- something I only know how to surrender through prayer.
"Are you really calling me to this?" I closed my eyes, let my breath slow, and waited...
I've prayed some prayers and waited for days, weeks, months, even years for an answer; in some areas I'm still waiting. But, in this case, the answer came in an instant, as snapshots of airplanes, hotels and hospitals flashed through my mind. I could see myself in Dallas. I'm not sure what to call this experience or how to explain what happened, other than to to simply say that it did. That was how the Lord chose to answer this particular prayer. He let me see myself there. As the images played a slideshow in my thoughts, Scripture added a soundtrack in my spirit...
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Psalm 139:13 NLT
"Yes Lord, you did knit me together, giving me two perfectly healthy kidneys, and you knew the good works you prepared in advance for me to do." When I stood up, I knew how I'd answer my husband. Not because I had "made a decision" during that prayer, about what I was going to do, but because I made a decision years ago to follow Christ, and I sensed where He was leading...
"We're going to Dallas."
This started as a private blog to help document my kidney donation journey and the theological, biblical, and ethical considerations for organ donation. It is shared with you here in hopes it might help with your own journeys of discernment and surrender.