To be honest, I wanted to dismiss it. It had come from left field and didn't really concern me. I was connecting dots that weren't meant to be connected. I let my mind rattle through the resistance...I don't know Alan. I know nothing about kidney disease. I very much value my own health and wellbeing - something I've always been grateful for and do not take for granted. Nah. Nope. No. This can't be of God. The only sensible thing to do here is to dismiss the subtle yet persistent promptings. But how?
The answer seemed to come as quick as the question.
I'll tell my husband!
You have to know that of the 100 ideas I have on a regular basis, the Holy Spirit has used my husband to help discern the one or two that I should actually pursue. Don't get me wrong, my husband is fully supportive of me and yes, even of some of my wild ideas, but I've learned that sometimes support comes in the form of discerning wisdom...to know when to say no. And when it came to this kidney donation...I was pretty sure he'd say no. And just like that, it would be dismissed. Done.
I waited until we got home from Kansas, and it was just the two of us around our table. I told him about the burden I had begun to feel and the stirring to possibly inquire...as crazy as it sounded...I couldn't help but wonder, if it wasn't supposed to be me. And then I paused...
And I was pretty sure I knew his response. We could chalk this up to another one of my crazy ideas.
But that wasn't his reaction.
"I can't think of a nicer family to do that for."
Wait. What? You were supposed to say no.
This started as a private blog to help document my kidney donation journey and the theological, biblical, and ethical considerations for organ donation. It is shared with you here in hopes it might help with your own journeys of discernment and surrender.